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Justin Ach
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Jaydubaya (170 days ago)
hey thanks a ton for your insight.  Ive never really written anything before and have no idea as to how to make anything flow or what rhythms work where, and as far as  structure im completely in the dark... I just have some random ideas and i write them down at thats about the extent of my abilities.  So any further pointers at all either directly relating to this piece or just in general would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks again
Jaydubaya (170 days ago)
And also if you have time theres one more composition that i put together...needs a lot of work but if you're bored and looking for something to pass some time with the poem entitled "All for you" on my page could use some pointers...like i said im the epitome of a novice so id really like to learn on how to improve on my writing.
garland81 (170 days ago)

Heya,

 

I'm no expert myself lol.  Only started writing poetry because of the Coffee Girl script.  But I can give you a few pointers.

 

I don't know how many share my style of writing... but I don't try capturing thoughts down on paper. Instead, I try to capture motions and emotions.  Music has a way of moving people.... so I try to capture the essence of a poem's rhythm.

 

Edward Allen Poe does this. Look up "The Raven".  

 

Also... Study the poem meters. Shakespeare specialized in Iambic Pentameters where every second syllable is stressed.  Example: "i HEAR thy WIND, thy WIND has CALLED for THEE. and SYMbols SHINE deSIGNS to SET me FREE." 

 

Another pointer... study a bit of Linguistics: Phonetics (The sounding of words) and Semantics (the impact of a word's meaning).  Sometimes too many T's make things sound choppy while many S words make things sound slippery.  Just speak out your poems and feel its rhythm and you'll know what I mean.  Feel out the rhythm, dude. 

Jaydubaya (169 days ago)
Hey thanks for the advice.  I'll definatley use that insight on my next pieces.
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I'm a screenwriter and poet.
Poetry Book
November 16, 2008 Uncategorized; 0 comments
THE MOONLIGHT - POEM (Corrupted) by Justin Achneepineskum Why flow to me, oh crispy silver star? In tear and mazes, it glanced upon my whole. In a ha... Read more
August 7, 2008 Uncategorized; 0 comments
DESTITUTIONSample from Pages: 11 - 15 Link to Full Screenplay:  http://pc.celtx.com/project/01vb2CD0gT4b Link to Video Sample:  ht... Read more
June 13, 2008 Uncategorized; 1 comments
PLEAExcerpt from "The Coffee Girl" Screenplayby Justin Achneepineskum Plea.Plea with me.Plea to the sky.Plea to the sky so the water ma... Read more
June 10, 2008 Uncategorized; 0 comments
THE WHIRLWINDExcerpt from "The Coffee Girl" scriptby Justin AchneepineskumSIDENOTES:  The Two Little Sticks refers to two little bacter... Read more
June 4, 2008 Uncategorized; 0 comments
BROKEN PULSESExcerpt from "The Coffee Girl" script By Justin AchneepineskumBeat me drums of life......struggling pulses pumping on.Free my c... Read more